Space Bound
by Obsession-Fad
Summary: Song fic of Rusame based on the song "Space bound" By Eminem...very very deep and emotional, hints of Pre-USUK


Alfred sighed, curled up on the windowsill wondering what was happening, why was it happening, and most importantly what he did to deserve it. Trust was the word that brought this whole fiasco about he thought, staring up at the stars in empty thoughts. He smirked thinking about the stars, remembering a particular memory with a certain Russian.

"So did you have fun today?" Alfred asked, blue eyes sparkling with hope gazing at the man next to him. Ivan chuckled and nodded staring down the hill they were sitting on at the golden sunflowers below them. The moon was full, the glow pooled over the flowers creating a calming sensation as Ivan stared at them. "Good, I thought you would considering it's a WHOLE festival dedicated to sunflowers!" Alfred said smiling. He looked up the skies; they were so clear and beautiful. He sighed and laid on his back to gaze up at the glimmering sky. Russia looked down at him, taking in the beauty of the other. Alfred was golden as the sunflowers with the warmth of a thousand suns Ivan would describe to himself when moments like this happened.

"Beautiful" he murmured running a hand through the others hair. Alfred smirked and blushed lightly "I sure hope you mean the stars". Ivan smiled and shook his head "nowhere near as beautiful". Alfred sat up and looked at the Russian "you sure you didn't drink a lot at the festival? You're getting awfully romantic tonight". Ivan grinned "I did not, and what's wrong with being romantic". Alfred shrugged "I uh I mean it's not that it's a bad thing its different you know, it almost feels to perfect well to me at least". Ivan quirked an eyebrow staring at the other, eyes gleaming amethyst against the moons luminescence "and what exactly would make it perfect for you then Alfred?" Alfred pretended to ponder and smiled, sitting up more to reach the others face and breathed "Trust" and kissed Ivan.

Ivan's thoughts shattered; melting at the Americans light touches as he felt Alfred's fingers on both his cheeks. He closed his eyes, wrapping himself around Alfred, as the other clung to him as if he were to disappear at any moment.

Alfred shivered at the rush he got as the other responded to him. He clutched to him, physically telling him to go on. He felt the passion rupturing from himself and in return from his counterpart. Finally needing a breather, Alfred parted the kiss slightly breathless as he rested his forehead against Ivan's.

Ivan smiled "trust is a big thing you speak of". He had a sadder look on his face realizing trust was a heavy thing to carry with someone. His whole life was cold and untrusting, learning at a young age people will turn on you once a higher offer had presented itself.

Alfred sighed "yeah, just like Love can be evil". Ivan looked at him curiously, Ivan didn't disagree but he didn't expect this coming from such a young nation. Alfred saw the puzzled look on the others face and smirked "spell it backwards, I'll show ya sometime". Ivan nodded and pecked the others cheek and said quietly "if its trust you want, well you just did an impossible thing…. You gained it".

Alfred smiled big and leaped at the Russian bowling him over, hugging into him as he thought of the future and what would it be like for the 2 of them, knowing things were about to change.

Alfred let tears fall off his face as he came out of his thoughts. He missed those moments, where did they go?

Ivan a mile off sat on a bench, frustration boiling in him as well as hurt. He would have done anything it took to rid the night away, to wish it never happened. His airplane was to come in an hour or so, it had only been a half hour from leaving Alfred and his body was already beginning to ache. His whole self already wanted him back but knew it wasn't going to happen. He remembered how back then he would always shake inside with excitement when he was packing for another week at Alfred's, there was no boundaries or lengths that would stop him from seeing one of the few people he cared about so dearly. Even if he had the oppressing thoughts of when Alfred would realize that he was never going to be good enough for him. His heart tore at the thought of the morning Alfred awakes and realizes he doesn't want to be him anymore. He thought about the first time he broke down in front of him.

It was the same thoughts that caused it. He sat on the couch as bliss hit him, the thought that he stumbled onto the feelings he had for Alfred and he was lucky enough to have them returned. The thought burned at him that the golden child of the nation's felt the same way he did. If he believed in such things he would have said it was fate but that was another matter. Tears glistened his cheeks as those thoughts orbited around his head. Alfred came stumbling down the hall "I-Ivan where are you? How come you're not in bed?" Ivan tensed, staring at the ruffled American staring back in curiosity. Alfred saw the shiny streaks down the Russians face from the kitchen lights dimly shining across the others features. He rushed over to him, setting his hands on Ivan's cheeks while crawling onto the others lap "Ivan, oh Ivan babe what's wrong? Talk to me please"

Ivan wanted to look away but couldn't; he still wouldn't answer to Alfred. "Vanya, did you have another nightmare?" Ivan shook his head and finally answered quietly "Het, it was you Alfred, I was thinking about how lucky of a person I am to have you. Do you realize how many nations want you, or even humans?" Alfred stayed silent, listening intently to what that other was saying. Ivan looked down as he continued "but I always have reoccurring thoughts of the day…the day you realize I will never be good enough for you" Alfred shook his head, tears forming as to why these thoughts were occurring at all. He wrapped his arms around the others neck pressing him close as he rested his head on the Russians. "Don't say that….you shouldn't even think that Ivan I, I know that a lot of people want me and wish to be in your shoes but you know? I chose you over them all….shouldn't that be enough to show you that you are enough for me man, i….you make me happy Ivan don't you know that?". Tears stained into Alfred's shirt as Ivan held him close, fearing his disappearance "sometimes doubt is inevitable Alfred, as much as you wish to avoid such things they'll always come back, I just….i know what it's like to be used, what it's like to hurt I just….i don't want to hold you back, I know the others you admire deeply and the thoughts that one day their going to sweep you off your feet…it kills me…"

Alfred pressed kisses on Ivan's head "it won't happen Ivan, we trust each other, we care, there's nothing to stop us, everyone admires others but you... your like well…" he cupped his hands around Ivan's cheeks to bring his eyes up to level with his own. Tears were rolling off his own cheeks as he said lowly " I'm like…like one of those rocket ships we have! The ones programmed for the moon, its only deadlocked target is to go to the moon…and you Ivan. Well you're the Moon, the bright glimmering moon, you know what that means? I'm always going to come to you, my Cordiant's are locked in and cannot be changed not matter what interference there is". Ivan gave him a small smile at the comparison as Alfred finally said as he placed a hand over Ivan's heart "your hearts the moon Ivan, and I'm always going to aim for you"

The cold bit at Ivan's cheeks as he looked at his watch, only a half hour now. The events that happened moments before intruded his mind his haste.

"Alfred where were you last night" inquired Ivan flatly. Alfred looked up at him, his heart starting to sink "what do you me-". Ivan tensed as he snapped "you know damn well what I mean, is this... is this why you have been strongly suggesting for us to head to bed early, so you can sneak off as soon as I do fall asleep?"

"What? No! Ivan it's for work I've been getting late night ca-"

"Late night calls from whom, Arthur? I can tell you that it is not a work call Alfred, I'm not an idiot"

"Ivan! What are, what are you accusing?"

"It's not accusing when you know its fact Alfred!" Ivan yelled turning to land a fist into a cabinet door, leaving a hole in it. Alfred jumped slightly "Ivan I haven't been doing anything with him it's all work involved"

Ivan turned to him "really then what was it I saw at the bar last week that was a 'business' involved meeting, I don't think kissing is an agreement tie up!" Alfred turned white realizing the battle was being lost on his side.

"Ivan that was, I was drunk! Things happen!"

"Alfred I know you can hold 3 beer flats, I'm not stupid! that was of your choice and as to how I know? I have my ways" Ivan said coldly slowly stalking towards Alfred. Alfred stood his grounds "it's your ways? What ever happened to trust you bastard?"

Ivan narrowed his eyes "trust? That's been dwindling for months Alfred, if you haven't noticed…why you won't just admit it is just infuriating". Alfred's eyes began to water "I haven't done anything; we only kissed Ivan, where have you been? You've been distant! always plunged into work! What do you expect after months of not falling asleep with you because you've been up till 3 working! Always working on that soviet bullshit!"

Ivan socked Alfred in the mouth saying harshly "don't you dare insult my nation and its beliefs"

Alfred gasped stumbling back a few stuff "this is it! You've changed; I don't even know who I'm talking to half the time! This, this is why I've been talking to Arthur, he's been there for me! You know what! Just fuck it! I'm not going to bother to waste my breath on you; I'm getting out of here!" Ivan sneered "and what? Call Arthur about whens the next flight to his house hm? Or who knows, he's probably already in the states. I wouldn't know, I don't have an affair with him!"

It was Alfred's turn to throw a first, landing square in the others jaw. Ivan glared something within him snapping as he strutted over to Alfred, giving him a bloody nose as he fell to the floor. He pinned the other down to the ground, yelling with laced insanity "I loved you Alfred! I loved you so much it hurt at times! I've never hurt you NEVER! I've never laid a hand on you; I poured my heart to you! Do you understand that?" Tears fell off his cheeks landing onto Alfred's shirt as he bored into the others eyes. "And this is how you repay me? You go fucking around with someone else? I know he's always tried convincing you I wasn't one to trust, but you did anyways! Or has that changed now Alfred along with your feelings?" Alfred looked at him, hurt and confused but he refused to respond to the other. "Alfred answer me?" Ivan yelled louder, lifting up a fist to land into Alfred's cheek. Alfred coughed "get off of me you bastard! I'm leaving" . Ivan snarled as he stood up "no you aren't because I'm sick of it; I'm getting out of here instead. You're real pathetic". Alfred spit at him, eyes searing with rage. In response Ivan kicked Alfred hard in the ribs, not caring of the possibility that he could be cracking his ribs. He headed down the hallway to grab his phone and coat, holding back the urge to fall to the ground and cry.

He knew this was the end, everything he built was gone. Trust, the one thing their love has built on was as well the cause of its end. He walked to the door and opened it looking back at Alfred who was still on the floor. He was hacking and coughing, hissing in pain as he stared up at the Amethyst eyes. He expected hate in them but instead hurt and depression filled them.

Ivan sighed and said in a low mutter "I adored you Alfred, you've been one of the few in my life I could fully love for who they are. I understand we won't be able to save all we built but promise me one thing would you? For the sake of memories". After a moment's pause Ivan continued "promise me you'll think of me when you look up to the sky and see a star"

The door then closed, Leaving Alfred to himself. As soon as he heard the door click he broke down into breathless cries. Wondering why?


End file.
